Newspaper led with a right. Rage!

Just an idle thought as I perused the clues in today's cryptic in The Age. My sudden exclamation of anger was perhaps more a result of yet another price-hike of the week-day print issue, rather than any un-usual difficulty in decoding the cross-word code?

Sydney Olympic games.

Tuesday marks the 13th anniversary of the closing ceremony for what proved to be the very memorable 2000 Sydney Olympic games.

I clearly recall the euphoria which gripped the nation when it learned of the successful bid c. 1996.

Reproduced below are two of my cartoon comments published in TravelWeek at the time. One was intended to convey the elation initially felt by stakeholders in the enterprise. The second done some time after, when  the ramifications of the task ahead had started to sink-in!

Whoopee!

Bandidos!

Queensland Police Minister Jack Dempsey (where have I heard that name before?) has responded to the latest 'outlaw' Bikie melee with a profound vow to draw 'a line in the sand'!

That has to be a sentence used more by 'law and order' zealots than by anyone else I can think of in our community. It is simply a soporific which the users are sure will be forgotten by an audience more readily than a more forthright statement like "I will see all of these law-breakers behind bars ... or resign!"

'Yawn'. See, it's working already!

Knock-out blow?

Colour. A wander down memory lane.

I began contributing regular cartoons/caricatures to Isaacson Publications in Melboune during the 1970s, They had a stable of trade magazines covering a wide spectrum of business interests including Travel, Aviation, Health, Hospitality, Technology and Media. They also published The Sunday Observer, this city's first sunday newspaper. Starting with TravelWeek, a fortnightly newspaper, I  eventually had op/ed. cartoons, caricatures, cover illos and/or comic strips running in all of the above periodicals at one time or another continuously until 2005.

In the early days, all of the work was tendered in Black and White with use of editorially determined spot colour emerging gradually during the 8o's. All of my stuff was delivered by hand to the Isaacson printing plant and editorial offices, then in Prahran. I absolutely loved those visits which enabled me to learn about the ways and means of print publication in general and, the voodoo of graphic imaging in particular. Most of all, I adored the ability to wander among the roaring presses lured by the wonderful smell of printers' ink!

In 1993, the editor of TravelWeek asked me if I'd like to 'have a go at full colour' graphics. Always up for a challenge, I responded with  'yes, why not?' ... without really thinking about the ramifications of such an unplanned change. For instance, I didn't immediately realize that 'full colour' in those days meant virtually doing a hand-drawn piece thrice ... pencils, inking, then colouring either directly over the basic art, or using an overlay to protect the line work. Time consuming! I figured quickly that  permanent inks would be the best  colouring medium ... but had no extensive experience of using them. What paper/board to use also confronted me early as well... but, somehow the accompanying ed. cartoon found its way into the TW issue of February 3rd, 1993. My adventures in regular colour had begun.

Incidentally, in those says I liked to draw big. This original artwork was 250mm deep x 340mm wide. I initially pencilled the caption across the bottom of the piece outside the 'bleed marks', expecting the plate-maker to convert it to type-set. Instead he simply went over my pencil work with a marker (which did not enhance the inaugural work IMHO). I've included it within the graphic myself for the purposes of this display.

Colour is the GO!

A plethora of Bishops?

According to a report in The Age, Melbourne Anglican Bishop Philip Huggins has implored the new federal government to drop its outward appearance of being 'tough' on asylum seekers and instead, substitute it with a dash of humanity based on compassion.

At first reading, the headline was bound to lead to some confusion among readers of all political persuasions?

Bishops galore!

Telstra woes.

The current Hoo-har over Telstra plans to axe a further 1100 troops before June 30 next year, must cast yet another shadow over the el-cheapo NBN roll-out envisaged by the new Canberra government. Unions are flagging an extant shortage of hands needed to maintain the rotting Telstra COPPER cabling already 'servicing' consumers' homes as well as nodes! That means relaying fibre to nodes only will largely negate the efficacy of the government's NBN plan to leave copper as the connection to homes unless individual house-holders are willing to pony-up the thousands of bucks required to extend fibre from node to home. I can name at least one bloke who wont be falling for that dumb plan!

This half-arsed coalition plan might as well be abandoned altogether, with a saving for taxpayers of the billions not yet contracted for fibre roll-out. Just fix the ailing copper to maintain at least third-world internet access parity.

Maybe that's what their 1950's mind-set really desires anyway?

Tin-rattler?

Bishop the younger.

My main cartoon production computer has been throwing 'wobblies' over the past two days ... perhaps, because I need to give it an overdue house-cleaning and/or, it was originally purchased new in 2001! In computer terms, that's pretty 'long in the tooth' and, probably deserves retirement. Only problem with up-grading is that the graphic applications I've been using all these years will not run on any on any of the new-fangled technology (though the out-put does ... go figure?) ... and, I'm too old to bother embarking on any steep learning-curves any time soon! Not to mention that, having to purchase new versions of similar apps. would have me thrown into debtor's prison anyway.

Sooo ... going to try nursing the old girl back to health. Meanwhile, I've taken to playing with 'newer' toy drawing programs residing on my more modern 'internet-access' machine. This stuff is little more than 'toy' material, featuring convoluted methodology with which I am not familiar .. or practiced. So, if the cartoons look abit amateurish or just plain crappy over the next week or so... you'll know without asking, that the applications which I can almost manipulate blind-folded, remain trapped and unreachable in the cob-webbed confines of the fitfully unreliable machine mentioned above.

Meanwhile, today's cartoon is supposed to reflect on Julie Bishop's possible experience in mixing with Abbott's good-ol'-boys-only club.

Filler?

ALP leadership contenders.

Albo and 'Shorty' meet tonight in a 'mile-stone' debate along the yellow-brick road to the inaugural grass-roots elected ALP leadership.

Hooray for democracy!?

Albo 'n' Shorty

Turnbull turn-off.

Slash and burn has turned its gaze on the N.B.N. Now, if we're very lucky, in a decade or so we might end-up with a third-world version of inernet technology already in use in places like South Korea and a number of countries in Europe.

I can envisage special incentives being offered to encourage the growth of customer connections to the whiz-bang Turnbull version of internet access for all ... perhaps a free 1950s Bakelite black telephone hand-set and a bottle of snake-oil to ease the pain of it all?

Better than string and jam tins?

Bishop the elder speaks!

I hadn't heard of Bronwyn for such a long time, I mistakenly thought she had retired from the parliament. Her bouffant hair-do has sprung a bit of a leak ... but, nonetheless, there she is once again a main attraction in the Canberra circus ring.

I know it's probably ungallant of me to ponder such a thing ... but, the lady has got to be in her seventies at least(?)

Author's note ... this entry was originally posted late on Sunday the 22nd, but re-posted today after  necessary amendment to the accompanying illo.

Speaking of...

Scratches on the pavement of history?

Towards the end of this morning's constitutional walk, I changed to the sunny side of the road for the last half 'klick'. Passing over someone's driveway, I caught sight of a series of small circles scratched into the 40plus year-old concrete cross-over. I know the concreting was done at roughly the same time as ours... but, had never seen the circles before. Perhaps it was just a fluke angle of the early morning sun?

Obviously scribed by a youngish hand whilst the cement was wet, I was struck by the naively humorous drawings and, the accompanying tag-line which reminded me of the series of 'my family' stickers which you see on the back window of many, many private motor vehicles these days (an idea which, I believe, netted a fortune for a clever female graphic designer/mum living  somewhere in country Victoria(?) when it hit a chord on the internet).

Further idle reflection created today's cartoon. (Curses!) If only I'd noticed the 'circles' a few years ago myself!

Paved art.

They'll do it every time! Part two...

... then BURNT Aust Aid as a singular identity, absorbing it into the Dept. of Foreign Affairs where it will probably disappear without a trace?



OK ... what's for lunch?

Fire!

They'll do it every time!

Today I did two cartoons more or less on the same subject. It so happens that tomorrow our street will be without power for +/- 6 hours from 9am. The Electricity distribution company is doing programmed 'routine maintenance' on poles and wires ... for the first time in my memory.  And,we have been here 41 years next December!

How routine can that be? Anyway, it means virtually no access to the computers tomorrow ... hence my decision to double-up on the cartoons today.

True to their form, the new Tory federal government's first decree (seemingly minutes after being sworn-in) was to SLASH the overseas aid budget, whilst sacking three Public Service department heads as a sort of exclamation point on the morning's work. Once they start slashing ... can BURNING be far behind?

See part two tomorrow.

Slash!

The Ice crisis!

Whilst the problem with ice in Antarctica is it's persistent disappearance, in Melbourne suburbs and some Victorian regional towns, an avalanche of ICE (aka Crystal Methamphetamine) recreational usage has led to related emergency treatments growing by 318% over the period 2010 to 2012!

What to do about it? Well, you could initiate a parliamentary enquiry on why illicit drug-use has suddenly become an epidemic ... and, hope like hell that it all goes away?

Yes, that's what we'll do!

ICE baby!

INDI-Mirabella and the lost seat?

The chase has reached it's climax ... will she, or wont she? The AEC says they should be able to declare the 'cliff-hanger' seat of Indi 'later today'. Although there are other federal seats still in doubt after last Saturday week's election ... this one involves a fairly high-profile coalition candidate whose result went against the general trend of voting throughout the country.

'Raiders of the lost Ark' comes to mind.

Cliff-hanger?

Tony, the boats master sets sail for...

Ah... now the bovver-boy is in the hot-seat, will we hear the rhetoric tone down a notch or two?

Boats?

Wanted ... the odd miracle.

I notice Camshaft Newbroom is appealing to his newly elected federal counterpart for financial assistance to help re-start stalled investment in exploitation of Galilee Basin coal reserves. COAL? And, there was I thinking the world had turned against coal as being yesterday's filthy pollution generating fuel.

Ah well, I suppose Tory minds are still coping with changes wrought by the 19th century industrial revolution ... so, no real surprise there. I understand Gina has a stake in the Galilee Basin area, so labour costs at $29 an hour shouldn't need too much federal assistance. Still, if miracles are the requirement, Tory Tony should be well fitted for the task if he already has the magical answer to covering his questionable election promises costings.

Otherwise ... the political caravan seems to be on holidays after last week's block-buster production(?)

Galilee 2?

A sunday sermon?

Whatever. Don't hold your breath would be my advice.

What mitre be?

Nostalgia ...

Circa 2004, former ALP leader Mark Latham infamously voiced his disgust about Prime Minister Howard's seemingly cloying attachment to then U.S. President George W. Bush.

I held much the same opinion, but was too polite in those days to express my feelings in the same way as Mr. Latham. I did a cartoon about the apparently overdone relationship between the two 'leaders'(?) ... but it was never published because my market for print cartoons had co-incidentally become defunct at that time.

Anyway, I came across the monotone original whilst researching files from that period a day or so ago. Added some colour electronically and, here it is ... aired for the first time almost a decade after its production.

Parasite?

Oh! ... the suspense!

Almost a week gone and, we still don't know the final dog's breakfast that will be the 'house of review' from next July.

Reform of the method by which senators are elected should be receive the earnest attention of both houses before the next national poll, because the present system has been reduced to a farce by smart alec manipulation of preferences.

My two penneth would be that the 'above the line' section be abolished, whilst obligatory preferential voting be restricted to a match of the available vacancies to be filled in each state.

Joke poll?

ALP leadership woes

Now, it seems the new rule covering leadership changes introduced soon after the second coming of KRudd, is making it mightily difficult to produce a new ALP leader in the wake of last week-end's defeat.

Or is it that nobody really wants to spend their party leadership credentials on a full term in opposition?!

Kev's Hev?

9/11 twelve years on ...

As I write this it remains '9/10' in New York. However, as we get first use of the day, my tribute to the +/- 3000 victims and their families is not really premature.

It was certainly one of those 'where were you when ...' type of events. I used to flick around TV channels before shutting the 'box' down for the night. On that fateful occasion in 2001, I recall landing on CNN and seeing a single commentator burbling along with one of the towers smoking in the background. While he was conjecturing on why a 'light' aircraft should be flying low enough over Manhattan to 'accidentally' collide with a sky-scraper, another 'heavy' came in from the edge of the picture striking the second tower. For quite awhile, the reporter kept on about what he thought, assumed or had been told, about the first strike ... apparently oblivious of what had just occurred behind him.

Gob-smacked, I immediately phoned my 'night-owl' son in Sydney to ask if he had seen the astounding tragedy unfolding LIVE on international TV ... and, yes, he was similarly transfixed by the whole thing.

Also ranks high on the list of things I later wished I had NOT seen live.

9/11

P.U.P. to dog house holders?

Incredible! There may be more to Clive than just being a tail wagging the dog ... or his performance thus far lends proof to the old suspicion that enough money to spend will buy you anything!?

Big PUPpy

Multi-purpose media hacks?

What happens to political scribes after the concentrated hullabaloo of an election has faded away? What other activity could possibly require the same grossly over-blown  story lines, breathless shock-horror reactions, rusted-on allegiances, employment of unruly scrums (aka rucks) and, wildly unfounded predictions concerning prospects?

Footy!

Glad that's over!

Glad to say I avoided the wall to wall election coverage last night. I put TV1 on for my better half (who likes the Law and Order genre of shows whether new or repeats). I mucked about with computer oriented house-keeping.

The outcome was pretty well prescribed in advance, although it appears the pundits mis-read the depth of the swings against the government. Why do they get so much air-time on the various media forms? Probably because the whole political arena is now treated and played out like a sporting event (or game of chance) which might amuse a large audience who, sadly, may have nothing better to occupy their attention(?)

Whatever, let's hope there can now be 3 years of earnest and productive work by politicians of all persuasions instead of the destructive narcissism so predominant in the recent past.

Not holding my breath tho'!

Winning?

Public convenience?

Since WW1, Melbournians have had access to fairly ornate (for their day) underground toilets dotted around the CBD. Apparently they are no longer heavily patronized despite being very expensive to maintain. So, the City Council is seeking expressions of interest in private enterprise buying the facilities for, perhaps, re-birthing as different entities. Studio Apartments, Shoe repair shops, Bars ... or, even mini-Restaurants (!) have been mooted as possibilities, subject to Council by-laws and the fact that one or two of the redundant properties are Heritage listed.

In view of their functional purpose over the past century, the mind boggles when pondering possible business names which might be attached to any new commercial undertakings...

Comfort station?

Election 2013.

The mandatory political advertising black-out on TV/radio has been a welcome break from the hysterical rantings interrupting the real entertainment on offer. I dread tomorrow which I expect will be 'wall to wall' breathless election reporting on many media outlets. Let's face it people. Either one or other of the DUMB or DUMBER larger parties are going to be wasting our time and money with gay abandon for the next 3 years ... so, what's all the excitement about?!

Meanwhile, many of you will be caught in the polling 'places' crush somewhere/sometime tomorrow. Good luck with the waiting time and complex documentation. I, having done my 'bit' to avoid a fine, will be doing my utmost to ignore the whole charade.

The vote.

The Senate paper!

In one of those flashes of brilliance that occur all too infrequently during life, with nothing better to do on a wet and grey day here in Melbourne, I decided to avail myself of the chance to vote early for this federal election. Glad I did ... because I'd hate to be confronted by the task of correctly marking the senate paper with crowds of people lining up to 'do their duty' behind you.

The damned document seemed to be more than a metre in length and, is difficult to handle within the capacity of a normal voting booth, let alone find the correct box to mark ... even if you intend only to take the 'above the line' option. Folding the thing to a size that fits through the ballot box slot is no easy task either.

I'm all for the democratic freedom of people to stand for parliament ... but, I reckon the test for eligibility perhaps needs closer scrutiny because the vast majority of sole interest candidates on the election list this time around don't have as much chance of success as a snow-flake's likely survival in a furnace!

Duty

Blow hards?

Yesterday I saw something entirely new ... to me anyway. Half the road surrounding our local park was occupied by an enormous truck blowing new wood-chip mulch into the children's play-ground area. I've never seen this method of distribution in action before. Always thought the spreading of that kind of landscaping material was a boring 'man with shovel and barrow' exercise. No. The internet tells me there are quite a number of companies providing this type of service in the greater Melbourne area alone.

With an obvious emphasis on the BLOW feature of the operation, I reckon you'd have to be a bit introspective about how you advertised your service. Although, times are a-changing.  A few years ago, I saw a well-known fertilizer distribution company's truck emblazoned with the slogan ... "Kerfoops fertiliser - Really serious shit!"

BTW ... some of the blower trucks illustrated on the web are even bigger than the fictitious one I have depicted in today's cartoon. And, if you ever see one in the distance, make sure you have ear-plugs or muffs handy. They are verrry noisy!

Big jobs?

The Penguins of P.I.

Victoria's current Premier Napthine ('Napthalene') isn't satisfied with trampling on public opinion by going ahead with the latest encouragement to Melbourne's grid-locked road system (ie the 'East-west tunnel link' project) ... but, the next piece of bastardry on the horizon is likely to be an intent to turn Hastings, situated in Victoria's Westernport bay, into 'Australia's major container terminal'.

This in a relatively shallow harbour which is currently a world famous marine and wetlands paradise. It may be of passing interest to readers in oher states that WP bay also surrounds Phillip island, a renowned tourist destination with the daily 'Little Penguin parade' as its head-line (but not only) attraction. Not only does the massive dredging necessary to accommodate giant container ships spell ecological danger for bay wildlife ... recent modelling of accidental oil-spill spread patterns in conditions common to the area has shown that even a modest spill of heavy fuel oil from the area of the proposed Hastings port would penetrate sensitive conservation areas within HOURS ... and, thus be practically impossible to stem before causing massive damage to the natural environment and heritage-proclaimed elements of it.

Just another potential white elephant like the massively expensive DeSal plant which virtually stands idle whilst adding enormous expense to water rate-payers in contract fees which will go on well into the adult-hood of my yet to reach teen-aged grand-daughters! The incumbent Tory government led by 'Napthelene' blames the former ALP administration for the giant blunder ... hoping that people like me will have forgotten that the DeSal plant was originally floated as an election promise by the 'Liberal' party in opposition, rejected by the public at the polls ... but later stupidly adopted and implemented by the ALP. Which, in turn, caused them to be thrown out of power!

And, some people wonder why I get so frustrated by the appalling quality of political leadership in this nation! And particularly, the arrogant dismissal of public opinion once their snouts are firmly in the trough!

The Penguins of ?

Devil in the detail?

A news report and opinion piece in today's paper separately deal with the Hoo-Har over the Coalition's refusal to disclose independent costing of their election promises ... presumably until it is too late for voters to evaluate their efficacy.

They also advance the proposition that the numbers themselves might 'add-up' ... but, the electorate could get a post-poll shock when they learn the detail of what was being costed ... not the costings themselves.

Hint - the depth of 'real' rather than sloganised cuts to services, personnel, expenditure etc. will not be announced before the election. 

Joe blow?

Father's Day

I must confess, I've never been a great supporter of 'Father's Day', mainly due to a misconception about its origins. It was certainly not a celebratory occasion when I was a kid, but emerged some time after WW2 when US influence on Australian culture was at its height. I (mistakenly) thought it was created simply as a marketing opportunity for the retail sales industry. Not so. It was the brain-child of a US civil war veteran's daughter early last century, when she thought there should be a day of celebration of fathers to parallel the religiously generated appreciation of mothers. It didn't really take hold in the US until the 1930s ... so, it's not really surprising that we didn't 'get it' until post WW2.

I still think it's only of real value to retailers though. I feel good about being a Dad everyday I get to admire my own son and his children.

Dad to Dad talk?