ALPHAbetics C!

Here's 'C' in the loony letter list.

'Marn Fergsn' retires.

Long-time MP Martin Ferguson has announced his retirement from federal politics after many years of sterling service to his beloved Labor Party. Judging by the unusual cross-party display of sincerity evident during the normal bear-pit of 'question time' yesterday, the bloke was genuinely admired by many in the 'house'.

Although nothing to do with his abilities, I was somewhat amazed by his delivery when he first began speaking in the parliament. He had what sounded like an over-blown Australian drawl which resulted in his own name being announced as 'Marn Fergsn'. I wondered how he would be able to effectively get his ideas across clearly. Apparently no problem at all ... and, he was highly respected for the actual wisdom contained in his articulation of ideas.

In his parting speech, he pondered who the party would nominate to stand in his super-safe Melbourne seat of Batman. How about the 'dark knight' (of comic book and latterly, movie fame, not the founder of Melbourne for whom the seat is named)?

Whatever happens ... goodonya Martin! 

Unity at the trough.

In the next day or so, we should see (or hear?) a bill pass through federal parliament with massive majority support that only dictators should expect. It will, of course, be the amendment to the statute governing public (that's US) funding of political parties (that's THEM).

No doubt about how the sniff of filthy lucre can break down the expressed integrity of most* politicians. Mark those of the greatest will by the way they vote ...

*tho' that possibility may be obviated by the bill passing 'on the voices' ... to protect the guilty with the expected avalanche of AYES!

Act in haste ...

No doubt about politicians. They are hardly deep thinkers.

Back in March, as Ms Gillard was under pressure from yet another (ho hum!) futile Rudd putsch ... Mr. Rabbit must've succumbed to hubris generated by the opinion polls, when he promised publicly that he would move a no confidence motion to bring down the government during the budget session.
Well, the budget session has come and almost gone. What happened to the promise?

Things change. Still super-confident of victory in September, the bunny finds that the budget has been fairly well received universally and, ... shock! horror! ... there are quite a few elements in it that the coalition intends to SUPPORT for their own future well-being (eg. $43billion of projected savings which their team will sorely need to help float their own plans for the country after September). If he were to bring down the government before the budget is passed ... blame for the 'slash and burn' required to finance his (hopefully) new administration's plans would be on the coalition's head and not the 'former regime', as is usually a given in politics at the top.

Sooo ... what are you going to do? If you honour the promise, you're cutting off your nose to spite your face. If you choose instead to PASS the budget to serve your own perceived needs ... then you are seen to be literally supporting the government's credibility ... which would render any plan to censure it a complete laughing stock!

Such is a prime example of the choices we are going to be presented with in a few month's time. Frankly, I'm already convinced that voting for either of the major parties is a waste of time. They are game players focussed on the present, who never seem capable of weighing the consequences of their precipitate actions ... even when those actions produce 'bombs' that later blow-up in their own faces!

The Schultz defence.

Perhaps it's a tad trite of me to say so ... but, clips of George Pell's appearance before the Victorian sex abuse inquiry today, reminded me mostly of Bart Simpson and Sgt. Schultz.

"I didn't do it!" and, "I saw nothiiiing!" seemed to be the condensed sum of his contribution.

Alphabetics

The cartoons below are part of a little series confection I worked on briefly a year or so ago. I recently dragged them out of the archives with intent to finish the full set as time permits.

Wish me luck.

Things that made the West wild?

Slow news day ... so, today's cartoon is just a figment of my imagination.

Vale Hazel.

I was distressed to hear of Hazel Hawke's passing. Though I was never fortunate enough to meet the lady face to face, I know a number of people who did enjoy that experience, including my own son. All of their reports confirm the high opinion I had formed of her since then husband, Bob, first came to prominence in the industrial relations arena.



I met RJ several times in both work and social environments during my career with Qantas. He was certainly good company and could move seemlessly in any group of acquaintances. I liked him a lot and, was elated when he became Prime Minister. I thought it high time the country had a leader who, despite possessing a high degree of intelligence (for a politician) was, frankly, a bit of a larrikin to go with it. In that regard, I'm sure he was more in touch with the desires of ordinary Australians in that era, than many of his predecessors had displayed. 


However, my immense respect for Hazel's demonstrated intelligence, apparent engaging manner when mixing with people at all levels of society, straight-forwardly transparent way of talking and, her obviously steadfast loyalty in dealing with the stresses attached to being 'first lady' of the nation, whilst coping with the formal (and private) undertakings of her famous husband ... far out-weighed my liking of Bob. Indeed, half-way through his prime-ministerial stint, I was telling friends and colleagues  ... "We elected the wrong Hawke. Shoulda been Hazel!"

Whilst visiting Canberra circa 1998, my son spotted Hazel (alone) climbing the steps of old Parliament house where she was attending a constitutional conference as a delegate. He tentatively approached her to convey the high esteem in which she was held by our family ... to which she replied "Oh, don't be silly. I'm just a simple old-bag !" ... or words to that effect. He recalls she then chatted for a while, then gave him a hug, before agreeing to have herself photographed with him. He has never forgotten the encounter ... and was similarly effected by her sad passing yesterday.

Goin' Fo'rd?

Ford ... out of fashion, out of touch ... and OUTA HERE!

Monkey business

On Tuesday, a spectacular promotion for a new stage-play based on the famous 1933 movie King Kong, involved a stunt in which a real-life female dare-devil re-enacted a scene harnessed to a gigantic gorilla hand suspended alongside the top of the Melbourne Eureka Tower building ... 300 metres from ground level!

I'm wondering how a play anchored to a grounded theatre stage is going to emulate that feat?!

You want MOOORE?!

Barry O'Flatterme (NSW top banana) has suggested it's time to re-visit the revenue produced by the 10% GST. He reckons if it was to be raised, he would be able to remove several 'anti-economic' state taxes. Well, I thought the original establishment of a 10% GST was to enable the states to remove their obnoxious state tax impositions. Is Bazzer telling us that they've spent the wind-fall on something else whilst retaining the crook state pillaging devices?

Perhaps B.O' thinks the sky's the limit for subsidizing the incompetency and/or inefficiency of state administrations? It's ever so slightly heartening for me to report that Vic. premier Napthalene has already told Baz to go paddle his own canoe.

Monday comics.

Here are the last three strips in the 'pigs might fly' sequence of Birds of a Feather, originally published in the sadly now defunct Bonzer! e-zine a year or so ago.

Who the hell was 'Hob'?

Early in 1990, I commenced life as a full-time professional free-lance cartoonist, after largely 'moon-lighting' in the role during a 32 year career in the airline industry.

For some reason which now escapes me, I decided to embark on the new undertaking with a pseudonym signature 'Hob.' I recall adopting it after researching alternative meanings of 'Rob', my first 'given' name. Apparently, 'Hob' was the nick-name of Robin Goodfellow a character in children's
fairy tales. It must've sounded appropriate to the work I was then launching into (?)

In any event, the 'Hob' sig. only lasted for about a year.

Here are 3 early examples of the 1990 work. The first 2 were published in the Bulletin from hand-coloured photo-copies of the B&W originals. Can't remember where the third landed. As you can see, I used speech balloons on single gag cartoons at the time, a habit developed by doing a number of comic strips during the same period. They were removed during the production process at the 'Bully', to be replaced by type-set captions in an italic Times-like font ... which I thought enhanced the work. Unfortunately, those were pre-computer days, so couldn't be emulated on original artwork (by me, anyway).

Prime cuts

The health system is sick ... and getting sicker?

Playing trains

Among those disappointed with the Federal budget would be Q.Trainspotting Minister  Scott Emerson, whose wish-list included the cross-river rail tunnel.

Finds himself left with a big hole ... but, not the one he was hoping the Feds would help dig for him to run the trains through?

Beware of subterfuge though.

Palmer United Party?

So, Clive has re-named the 'new' party already. Now P.U.P.

Stand-by for the Seal (blubber oriented) and 'doggie' jokes, when the party is officially launched (if ever?).

The big chill ...

I haven't heard much radio or read any of the daily papers today. Had a medical appointment this morning and, by the time I got home this arvo was too tired to even switch on the TV. The fatigue stems from the infernal waiting around pending a call to enter the physician's den ... rather than the effort of getting there and back.

As a consequence of the news inaccessibility, I'm presuming the federal budget was the usual combination of vaudeville and legerdemain, followed by the quasi-learned analysis ad-infinitum. At the same time, I bet the leader writers and cartoonists have wallowed in the trite 'swan-song' tag-line?

As for myself, faced with a real icy blast when setting out for my routine early morning walk, I momentarily wondered if the weather always turns wintery as a result of the budget ... or, do the framers of the document deliberately table it at this time of the year to use the imminent on-set of winter as background atmospherics?

PAYG Singo.

The industry surrounding the noble 'sport of kings' disreputable? Dammit sir! You may think such a thing ... but, blab it around at your own peril! 


Ask Singo.

Tackle the 'Duck!

Yesterday, I attended a 'meet the players' and kid's footy-clinic put on for Melbourne-based supporters of the Sydney Swans (AFL) team ... (formerly South Melbourne) at an oval adjacent to Albert Park lake. My two grand-daughters were born in Sydney and remain firm supporters, even though they did the opposite to their beloved team by moving to Melbourne with their parents in 2004. My job was simply to provide the transport to/from the venue. It was their day for hero-worshipping, gathering of player autographs and, going thru' the clinic routines.

When it came to tackling, a Swans player held a large cylinder-shaped plastic bag which the kids were to run at, then try to grab-grapple to the ground. In addition to the big-time players, the Swan's mascot Ciggy (a largish cartoon character) had wandered up to mingle with the kids. Someone in the crowd (anonymously) yelled out to the kids "Tackle the Duck!" ... which is, of course, supposed to be a SWAN ... not thinking the intended witticism would achieve any response. Oops! Two or three of the pint-sized participants took the command seriously. Down went the 'duck' in a gang-tackle. It was last glimpsed hobbling off the field as the spectator who incited the miniature insurrection, feigned a need to go to his car to escape the chilled morning breeze until the event reached its conclusion.

Pigs might fly?

Here's another Sunday dose of Birds of a Feather. Happy landings.

Cartoon style circa 1990s

More info for Marti. The following examples are from a series of feature 'toons (which I titled Moving IT ) commissioned by the Prion I.T. distribution company in 1995 to appear in their staff magazine. You'll notice the 'big foot' syndrome had been overcome by then ... whilst the three-fingered hands had become entrenched.

Goin' West?

This is Victoria-centric ... but, I'm guessing the same kind of shenanigans go on in all Australian political jurisdictions. Our state budget is about to be tabled in the wake of the usual strategic leaks trumpeting 'good news' ... despite the much vaunted idea of budget confidentiality until the tome actually hits the table. Ho hum!
In any event, there are already claims of fraudulent fiddling of numbers like quoted allocations of large amounts for specific purposes (good tidings) ... but a lack of detail on the old catch-cry "Where is the money coming from?!" Vague answers like 'from savings' (almost certainly bad tidings), immediately sets off the bellows about mass sackings of public servants and further severe cutting of already thread-bare services. 
However, one of the salient areas of disquiet here-abouts is the appalling lack of targetted spending on transport infrastructure and, PUBLIC transport infrastructure in particular. What used to be a great urban train and tram network is now literally a shambles of a shamble. What rolling stock and time-tabling there is, prove more than adequately every day that the networks don't come within a bull's roar of meeting the needs of greater Melbourne commuters. A gross inadequacy of infrastructural development and transit integration over the past 15-20 years in the face of urban sprawl is clearly the cause. Both sides of the political spectrum stand condemned for letting it happen. Instead, these morons have backed patch-work freeway and toll-way construction and conversion ... despite evidence that in the case of arterial roads ...If you build it, they will come! In un-manageable peak-hour droves, they paralyse the 'system' by rendering it a veritable car-park twice daily on week-days! Yet, the current 'government' under the leadership of Dense Napthalene ... (actually Dennis Napthine, but my love of Dickens compels me to substitute a vaguely apt pseudonym for all my principal caricatured actors) ... is pursuing more and more construction of roads in preference to building viable rail mass-transit facilities as an alternative to the horror of driving to/from work every day.
Apparently, the Federal government recently granted the Victorian bunglers $50 mil. as seed funding for creation of a business plan aimed at providing a new underground link to unite eastern and western suburb sections of the existing urban rail network. Allegedly, there is no evidence of the grant being spent since it was revealed in last year's budget ... and, no reference to any rail construction plans in this year's leaked document. Sooo ... the media is asking 'where did the $50 mil. go to?!' ... a poetic reversal of the usual chant.

Hence today's cartoon.

'Eh'! frame house construction

A while back in another blog, I was running a series caricaturing some of the more exotic dwellings one sees whilst roaming the wilds of Keilor each day. Here's another from that list which looks to me to be a fine example of the type of house you'd expect to see in an alpine setting.

But, in Keilor?

We've been here since 1972 ... and, so far as I can recall, there has only been one instance when a freak arctic-type blizzard deposited sufficient snow on the town and environs (including Tullamarine A/P which shares our plateau) to create a half day of traffic disruption (both road and air) and, a wonderful experience for children.

Plebiscite required?

A disclaimer. This piece is tongue in cheek stuff ... just for fun (well, almost everything I post here is for laffin' at so, I suppose my opening remark is largely redundant.)
Whatever, the Melbourne University Centre for advanced Journalism has completed a survey of 1000 eligible federal voters over March/April to gauge the depth of interest abroad for the ever on-coming federal election, still +/- 4 months away. Here are the main findings published on Monday.
36% said they had no interest whatsoever in the the election or anything/anybody(?) connected with it.
58% (64% male 54% female) said they were fed-up with the quality of political leadership in Canberra, many adding that they think this is the worst-behaved federal parliament in memory.
73% said they has no confidence in press reporting of political matters ... whilst 71% thought TV reporting is also suspect.
Goodness ... the level of interest is breath-taking. Since these election thingies are expensive exercises, perhaps the AEC should run a plebiscite during the next 4 months to establish if it's worth putting on the 'big show' at all? Today's cartoon covers some pertinent questions which should illuminate the underlying attitude to Australian politics in general.

BTW ... nobody asked me anything.

UAP re-incarnation

C'mon Clive. Show us you're the real deal with accomplished party registration, official launch, who's in as candidates, accoutrements such as a party logo etc. and, of course ... a firm manifesto.
Otherwise, it's like trying to nail jelly to a wall guessing what part of the political spectrum the UAP intends to occupy.
Did like your reported 'minority group' quip though. However, it's representative of what I wrote above. Bloody difficult to find any media stories which detail what was actually said in that particular news conference. Still, it makes good cartoon material whether verified or not.

Blowing bubbles.

According to some financial pundits, Australian banks are testing the boundaries of an imminent 'bubble', similar to that which engulfed internet stocks during the late 1990s.
Meanwhile, bank shareholders are clamouring for more dividends after spectacular first half profit announcements by Westpac and A.N.Z. The punters would like to see the bubbles continue to grow faster ... and to hell with what may lie down the road.
That's capitalism in action for you folks. Here's a little theme song for both bankers and their hopeful investors. Apologies for fracturing the original lyrics of one of my favourite child-hood melodies.

We're forever blowing bubbles,
pretty bubbles in the air.
They fly so high, just like a pie,
but, like your dreams ...
they burst and fry!

Fortunes get a hiding ...
you're left in despair.
while we continue blowing bubbles,
pretty bubbles in the air.

Birds of a Feather cont'd/...

Truffles anyone?

Defence White Paper

The parliamentary partisanship didn't last long. In reporting the reaction to yesterday's tabling of the White Paper, one media entity went the trite road with a headline 'Opposition torpedoes Collins submarines replacement plan' ... or words to that effect.
A track well-travelled already ... so, why don't I stagger my way down it as well with today's cartoon?

Cartoon styles circa 1980s

Back in March, I posted a piece about a few identifiable influences which had appeared in my work over the years ... but, had mostly been dispensed with to reflect changes in my own tastes. Recently, I received a request to elaborate on the various influences by posting some appropriate examples trolled from my somewhat disorganized archives.

Sooo ... this is for you Marti. Let's look firstly at 'big feet' which littered my gag and current affairs 'toons during the 1980s. As I mentioned in the March story ... I blame this trait on my fondness for the work of Jay Ward. The 'crash' gag is reproduced from a press cutting ... the remaining six are scans of original art. BTW ... these were the days before my stuff began appearing in colour and/or my use of computers. I could've added colour now ... but, I'm a purist at heart, so what you see is exactly as they were when published in various magazines.

More later, as the whim dictates.

U.S.A. and the Gitmo sore

A glutton for punishment, but President Obama is dead right to again moot closure of the Guantanamo Bay 'facility' housing terrorism suspects. Even if likening the jail to Hitler's concentration camps is difficult to prove by international critics ... there's no escaping (pun intended) the fact that the very existence of this 'running sore' flies in the face of U.S. foreign policy claiming  to be absolutely compatible with their much vaunted doctrine of democracy founded on freedoms guaranteed by 'rule of law'. While 'Gitmo' remains, that doctrine stinks of hypocrisy!

However, good luck Barack trying to convince the G.O.P. far right element that they should support the closure, if only to protect U.S. integrity.

Getting there.

Could it be possible that, for just this once, our Canberra political representatives could bury their prejudices and vote as one to pass the N.D.I.S. funding proposal on the simple principle that it is the right thing to do?

It would be a positive move for the thousands of afflicted Australians and their carers whose hopes for the future are hanging on this proposal. And, it might also be a small step forward if they are at all interested in trying to restore their own collective reputations in the minds of  the electorate at large?